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The Definitive Ranking Of Aussie Tuckshop Food

Don’t tell me I’m wrong, because I am not.

It’s an undeniable fact that the best thing about school was the tuckshop.


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Remember that heady feeling of walking up to the counter and saying to a classmate’s mum, “What can I get for 10 cents?” Or letting people butt in in front of you in the line on the guarantee that they’d be your best friend. Best of all were lunch order days. And, of course, the food itself. Here’s a round-up of the most iconic tuckshop foods, ranked from “good” to “a level of ecstasy I have never experienced in my adult life.”

29.

Ovalteenies


sacrleh / Via instagram.com

Ovalteenies were a “healthy” treat which automatically made them less of a treat.

28.

Fizzers


joelhardcastle / Via instagram.com

Listen, I once vomited after eating Fizzers and forever associate them with that awful incident, so I am maybe (definitely) biased. Sorry, you can’t change my mind.

27.

Chicken and corn rolls

26.

Warheads


sunshineconfectionery.com.au

They didn’t put the “extreme” label on these for nothing. They actually made you pull that face on the packet. Ooft.

25.

Popcorn


alfredfoods.com.au

Popcorn is great! Just, you know, a little bland compared to the rest of the delights of the tuckshop.

24.

Eucalyptus drops


bigw.com.au

Excellent when you’re sick. Less exciting when you’re not.

23.

Frozen juice cups


nippys.com.au

These are delightful in theory, but kind of infuriating to eat in reality. You’d spend all recess stabbing it with your little plastic spoon.

19.

Jupiter Bars


theprofessors.com.au

Caramel and peanuts, what’s not to love? Well, the time I lost a tooth in one. Sorry, I’m really trying not to let my childhood trauma cloud my judgement, but here we are.

18.

Noodle snacks


rejectshop.com.au

We really ate dry noodles for a snack. And you know what, we loved it.

17.

Sunnyboys


ebay.com.au

Sunnyboys were so much fun. You also got to the point where you were just sucking on flavourless ice, which was less fun.

16.

Ghost Drops


lollyworld.com.au

Like Warheads, but they didn’t hurt your brain so much. Also your tongue turned fun colours!

14.

Sausage rolls


goodtucker.com.au

Smothered in tomato sauce and, if your school was particularly wild, wrapped in a bread roll. Does this feel too low on the ranking? Maybe it is, but it’s tough competition.

13.

Pizza Roundas


ameliacarroll93 / Via instagram.com

I know, I know, it’s also too low. But there was always the risk these would scorch your mouth. (Of course, it was worth it).

12.

Chip sandwiches/rolls


Clarkandcompany / Getty Images

It’s kind of random to think that tuckshops sold these — and the related item, Twisties-on-a-roll. But you can’t really go wrong with so many carbs.

10.

Meat pies


Flickr / Via Flickr: avlxyz

We’ve reached the top 10! And the competition is stronger than ever. Which is why the old faithful plain meat pie only just comes in at 10.

9.

Lasagne


Mohannad Zoha / Getty Images

For when you were feeling a bit fancy. (Don’t question it).

8.

Flavoured milk


Flickr / Via Flickr: roadsidepictures

Choccie milk is an Australian icon for a reason. The perfect accompaniment to your greasy lunch order.

6.

Nutella snack pack


Flickr / Via Flickr: dachis

Instilling the life-long belief that yes, big scoops of Nutella are in fact a valid snack.

5.

Toasties


Bruce Gifford / Getty Images

Whether they were cheese and tomato or the even more basic — but somehow more magical — melted cheese on an open bun, these were heaven on a cold winter’s day.

4.

Potato pie


Flickr / Via Flickr: lilcrabbygal

Like a meat pie, but BETTER, because potato makes everything better.

2.

Pikelets


Westend61 / Getty Images

The ultimate homemade tuckshop treat.

Obviously I’m 100% right, but feel free to sound off with your own opinions in the comments!

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